Welcome to our ongoing “First Steps” series, where we highlight remarkable journeys of individuals who have transformed their bodies, minds, and lives by taking those crucial first steps towards change. After all, every journey begins with that initial move! You can explore all the inspiring stories here.
In this segment, rapper, songwriter, and author Russ, aged 32, shares his initial steps towards better mental health, which played a pivotal role in the creation of his best-selling album, Santiago, and his second book, It Was You All Along.
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH therapy was in couples counseling. Entering a relationship often brings insecurities, triggers, and childhood wounds to the forefront. When you share a deep connection with someone, they can reflect your own behaviors back at you. I found myself becoming condescending and emotionally defensive, which I didn’t like.
Initially, I thought, “Couples therapy? That’s just for couples at the brink of divorce.” I felt that if we needed therapy, we shouldn’t even be together. However, my desire to preserve the relationship led me to give it a chance in 2021. This opened my eyes to the benefits of therapy—having someone to talk to, reflecting on my life, and being honest with myself. In a romantic way, love was my gateway to therapy and personal growth.
However, couples therapy primarily focuses on the partnership, lacking a deep exploration of personal history. When I began working with my therapist in 2022, I started to peel back those layers and dig deeper. It was a whole new experience.
That same year, I lost my beloved childhood dog, who had been by my side through high school and various homes in Georgia. Her passing hit me harder than I expected, sending my nervous system into chaos. Therapy helped me understand the emotional weight of this loss. I had rushed through my twenties, achieving success at a rapid pace, and had taken on the role of caretaker for my family without processing what that meant. Losing my dog felt like losing a piece of my childhood forever, and I was struggling to cope.
Realizing I needed professional help, I reached out to Dr. Nicole LePera, who connected me with a therapist specializing in working with successful men. This was crucial for me, as I worried that a therapist wouldn’t understand the pressures of fame. Thankfully, I found someone who was an excellent match.
First Step: Cultivating Awareness, Humility, Hope, and Empathy
THE FIRST STEP IN managing my mental health was learning to pause before reacting. This simple act allowed me to observe my emotional responses. By taking just a couple of seconds to check in with myself, I could engage in calmer and more thoughtful conversations with others, clearly communicating my needs. It may seem straightforward, but it has transformed my interactions.
Therapy immediately instilled in me a sense of humility and hope. I quickly realized that I didn’t have all the answers, and that was perfectly fine. I had always prided myself on having life figured out, even writing a book about it. The reality is, nobody has it all figured out. Each therapy session opened my eyes further, making me more aware than I had been the day before.
Over time, the most profound change has been in my capacity for empathy. Previously, I struggled to extend compassion to myself, making it difficult to empathize with others. I often felt overlooked, but through therapy, I learned the importance of caring for my own feelings. This shift allowed me to understand that when someone isn’t at their best, they might be facing their own struggles, just like I was.
Therapy and Masculinity
MY BROTHER FRANK is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist, making him my trainer and chef. His presence in my life has been significant. Beyond being my brother, his dedication to health inspired me to realize that achieving my fitness goals was indeed possible. At the start of 2022, feeling frustrated with myself, I committed to a healthier lifestyle. I meticulously tracked my food intake, drank a gallon of water daily, eliminated alcohol, and worked out every day with Frank. As a result, I shed 30 pounds in six months. Physically, I was at my peak, yet I still battled emotional and spiritual depression.
This experience made it clear that the notion of “just hit the gym to cure your depression” is misleading. You can’t simply lift weights and expect to erase the painful memories of your childhood. For many men, the idea of seeking therapy can feel like a blow to their masculinity. I used to think that needing therapy was a sign of weakness. However, engaging in therapy transformed my understanding of what it means to be a man.
My therapist once shared that society often evaluates men based on their ability to handle everything alone. While challenging this mindset in therapy can be tough, it leads to deeper self-awareness and personal growth.
Men often experience isolation, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We need more supportive communities and mentors to navigate life’s challenges. I am now dedicated to fostering a network of men who can uplift each other and engage in meaningful conversations.
The insights from therapy have inspired my book and album, “It Was You All Along,” which explores themes of self-regulation and setting personal boundaries. While music serves as an outlet for my thoughts, it’s through therapy that I engage in meaningful self-exploration. My journey continues to be one of self-discovery and personal growth. Trusting the journey and embracing new versions of myself is a daily challenge. It’s okay to not have all the answers; by continually working on myself, I am evolving into a better man. My upcoming album is centered on stepping into the unknown with humility, optimism, and faith. I recognize that there will be ups and downs, but I’ve learned not to dwell on the worst outcomes. It’s all part of the journey, and I firmly believe that everything will ultimately fall into place.
